Updating Facebook

We hear it all the time: "Parents post too much on Facebook." What the childless (or child-free as they like to be called) don't understand is that once you have kids, your social life goes down the drain. Can we just all admit that?

When your days are filled with diaper changes, potty training, misplaced reading logs, last minute baking for ANOTHER fundraiser *and* working, making time for people who don't need you to steady them while they sit on the toilet just ain't happening most of the time.

"Why can't you call someone?" Have you ever tried to talk on the phone with kids around? If they're out of the baby stage and not trying to swat your mobile device out of your hand, they're screaming in the background. Or worse, they're silently ripping your purse apart and finger painting with long-wear lipstick.

What about playdates? What about playdates. As nice as it is to sit down and talk about life (ie. complain about your family) with another mom or dad, the time it takes to prepare for one is usually a big enough deterrent. And if you're a working parent when exactly are you supposed to have these mythical playdates? 6PM on a Tuesday night?

Bottom line: parents crave the social interaction they had pre-kid. Enter: FACEBOOK.

Ok, consider this an official apology for all of the kid photos in your News Feed. Feel free to hide our updates...oh you already have? In that case I retract my apology.

As slightly pathetic as it is, Facebook gives people who are shut in their homes with their bundles of absolute joy a chance to feel like they're at some kind of digital social gathering. In between grocery shopping, the endless laundry and telling someone "NO" for the sixtieth time, sharing a video of a cat falling off a couch or a pic of your iced-latte feels...social.

That said, there are some unofficial rules for Parent Facebooking:

1. NEVER post a poop photo. Nobody wants to see what comes out of your child no matter how impressive or interesting or disgustingly amazing it is. What if we're eating pudding?

2. Limit the kid photos to three per day. Ok 5. No more than 10. Or 20. Yeah 20 sounds right.

3. Bragging. So your child is the next Mozart. We get it but can we talk about something else now?

4. Selfies. It's ok, we haven't forgotten what you look like BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET US.

Now that you know how to act, feel free to update your status.

Facebook: We like you.

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